(A mini play adapted from Mo Willem’s awesome picture book Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!)
Hi! I’m the driver of this peer review bus.
Listen, I’ve got some other work to do, so can you watch things for me until I get back?
Oh, and remember: DON’T LET THE RACE SCIENCE GUY DRIVE THE PEER REVIEW BUS!
I thought he’d never leave! Hey, can I drive the peer review bus?
Please? I’ll be scientific!
I’ll tell you what! I’ll just steer the process.
My friend Emil Kirkegaard peer reviews his own papers every day! True story.
I never get to publish anything serious!
Hey! I’ve got an idea! Let’s play “publish this paper”!
I’ll go first! Come on! Just this one paper!
I’ll be your best race science peer reviewer!
How about I give you a spot at an OpenPsych journal?
I bet your department head would let me!
What’s the big deal?! It’s just one peer review!
I have dreams, too, you know!
LET ME DRIVE THE PEER REVIEW OF MY OWN PAPER!
I’m back! You didn’t let the race science guy drive the peer review bus, did you?
Great! Thanks a lot.